$1
of $4
20% goes to conservation
Protected Friend
$1 from every Protected Friend sale goes to shark conservation. Small certificate. Real contribution.
Our Impact
Where the money actually goes.
The Alliance is fictional. The funding is not. This page explains what each certificate contributes, who we aim to support, and how reporting will work.
How funds are split
Certificate prices are fixed at $4, $19, and $99. Conservation allocations are tracked publicly and reported here as donations scale.
$12
of $19
63% goes to conservation
Non-Snack Recognition
$12 from every Non-Snack sale goes to conservation. The certificate is theatrical. The allocation is not.
$70
of $99
71% goes to conservation
Shark-Approved Zone
$70 from every business certification goes to conservation. If you’re putting it on the wall, it should earn its place there.
Land-based operations (the boring part)
The rest covers the unglamorous dry-land part: hosting, rendering, admin, and one human doing all of this in a bathrobe.
Where the money goes
These are organizations we aim to support as the conservation fund scales. We will report recipients publicly and will not claim a formal partnership before it is confirmed.
Shark Trust
Planned RecipientUK-based charity dedicated to safeguarding the future of sharks through science, education and policy influence.
Focus
Focus: UK & European shark policy, science-led conservation, public education campaigns.
Oceana
Planned RecipientThe largest international organization focused solely on ocean conservation, with campaigns in dozens of countries.
Focus
Focus: Policy change, ocean habitat protection, sustainable fisheries advocacy.
Shark Conservation Fund
Planned RecipientPhilanthropic collaboration providing direct funding for shark and ray conservation globally.
Focus
Focus: Research grants, marine protected areas, anti-finning campaigns.
Malpelo Foundation
Planned RecipientProtecting marine fauna and one of the world's most important shark sanctuaries off Colombia's Pacific coast.
Focus
Focus: Malpelo Island sanctuary protection, hammerhead shark research, marine patrols.
Listed as planned recipients. Formal partnerships or confirmed recipient relationships will only be announced once they are actually in place.
How we choose partners
Direct shark impact
The organization must work directly on shark conservation, research, or habitat protection — not general marine causes.
Financial transparency
They must publish annual reports, financial statements, or verifiable impact metrics that we can share with our community.
Proven track record
We prioritize organizations with years of documented conservation outcomes, not just good intentions.
Global & local balance
We aim for a mix of global organizations and local sanctuaries to ensure funding reaches where it's needed most.
Reporting & transparency
Every conservation allocation is tracked and reported publicly.
01
Quarterly reports
Published publicly on this page. How much was raised, where it went, and what impact it had.
02
Verifiable donations
Every donation comes with receipts and confirmation from the receiving organization.
03
Social updates
Public updates on our social channels showing how contributions were allocated and what happened next.
Every certificate helps.
The joke is fictional. The funding is real. Get a certificate and help protect the sharks who definitely aren't plotting anything.